A world within a world
by DTA2013
Summary: This is very AU not something I would normally do but it just won't leave my mind…. what happens when the lines between two worlds meet and two people are drawn together by sheer accident can love really concur all when the two souls are so different or will fear keep them apart!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**As ever, I do not own criminal minds they belong to their rightful owners…**

**Please as ever R&R even if it's to tell me it's crap haha … This is very AU not something I would normally do but it just won't leave my mind…. what happens when the lines between two worlds meet and two people are drawn together by sheer accident can love really concur all when they two souls are so different or will fear keep them apart!**

I sit at the same bench every day wondering where I went so wrong, my relationship had fully broken down, my job was taking too much out of me, and the amount of secrets we kept and the amount of cover-ups are eating at my soul. What would happen if they knew the truth. Would people just carry on knowing or would they panic and turn on each other, because they could not see the difference between the two, who was human and who was not? Would it really be such a bad thing to allow people to come together and work as one in protecting and saving lives?

There would always be killers and yes there were some who were monsters, some we had to hide from people because they were totally different, they are I guess mutant though I don't think that is correct. They were made to be like us with their own abilities stronger faster but they were made to protect. Yes, they have some of our DNA but not all; they can have relationships and reproduce. They look normal enough but they are not, they are twisted animals that can sense danger and I guess evil they can crack and hunt a killer faster than most.

Some are made with intelligent beyond anyone's imagination, some can read thoughts. However, right now I have to figure out what I am about to do. You see two years ago one mutant I guess, had a breakdown and now is locked up in an asylum not that she is dangerous, but because she is more powerful than anything, that we have made. She was born, she was not meant to be, she has powers that scare us. From what I have been told, she has never hurt anyone. However, she may have witnessed a crime that sent her into a tailspin; something that cracked her very mind and soul.

The boss thinks I am the best person to talk to her, she fears men hell she fears everyone, I have seen pictures of her, her eyes seem haunted, I have never seen eyes like that before, they seem to glimmer in the light, even her hair shines, it is like an air around her as though she has a protection shield but it doesn't protect her from the thoughts of others, she hasn't seen the light of day in two years. How can anyone cope being locked in a cell for that long. Nevertheless, that was her choice.

What she wanted, she cannot cope with mankind, but if we can use her as a tool and enable her to become what she should be instead of someone who is hiding away from the world, she could do good she could be a someone not a no one. Is that not what everyone wants? To have some meaning in this world, to help one another, to feel a connection between someone.

But what if we are unable to, what if we cannot stop the fracture that has broken her, I read that she was witness to her parents death, but we don't know what happened, how can someone turn on a mutant let alone kill one. I mean they self-heal, they should not be able to be killed! They should be able to protect themselves, was there a flaw in the chemicals, is there an imbalance somewhere between the DNA. Was the radiation not strong enough and more importantly.

When this type was created I mean she is in her 30's and we only started. I guess you can say we only began to make these 20years ago so how the hell is she in her 30's did someone get her file wrong? And her parents were older, did someone try this before we extracted the correct DNA and the correct mapping in devolvement of the gene pool to manipulate it to what we needed it to become?

We need to understand her and the way she is, we have never seen one that has more power than she has. I guess I will have to explain this at some point in the journey we are taking, but right now, I need to figure this out. We have just caught someone, we know he did it we know he is responsible for the death of 20 children but the evidence seems to have disappeared out of sight. We need her strength and her ability and it is my job to get her to come with me.

This could blow up in our faces though and the boss does not seem to care. The boss does not care if she puts our unit in danger, yet we face danger every day. Yes, we have the most dedicated minds in the world, but with her powers, we could do more than, that we could bring more people to justice.

But that is only if I can get her to talk to me, but as I sit here at this bench outside the walls of the FBI I start to question if we are really doing any good, no matter how many we put away no matter how many we end up, I guess you should say how many we kill. They just keep coming, the team is strong we have a tight bond; sometimes we cannot understand Reid but there again for a human he is a genius. Morgan is like the lion that protects us all though he can go at things in a rush in order to save and protect. Garcia keeps our spirits up when we suffer the blows of death and mayhem every day.

The files that cross our desks the pictures that we see haunt our dreams. Moreover, every so often they spill in to our real world our wakened thoughts. Hotch is stern and closed off from everyone he keeps everything wound up so tightly inside himself. It is not a surprise he lost his wife and child. Though they are now in protective custody until we find the man who taunts us all.

In addition, this is also why we need her help, we are missing something that connects everything; Rossi even says sometimes we are out of our depth because we cannot always see the wood for the trees. We are a family and a close one, we have to be in order to do our jobs in order to catch the scum of this earth. Nevertheless, I wonder if we really are doing any good. Maybe she will be able to tell us if we are, and maybe we can get her to join our team. Since that is really, what this little trip is really about.

We need a 7th wheel so to speak, we need a replacement for our last Agent, but can we trust enough to work with a mutant can we allow ourselves to rely on someone who shouldn't have been born. On the other hand, is she something else completely?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**All conversation's which are in bold are not spoken**

"So we are sure about this, there is no other way without her?" Morgan rolled his eyes slightly "Do you really think we would be going through with this if we weren't I mean come on who wants to work with something more powerful than we can understand have you read her file at all."

"Of course I have but if she is already damaged what good can it do, could we not be causing unnecessary harm to her? I mean no one knows what she has been through because she has never spoken to anyone" Hotch sighed softly.

"Reid I know we normally tell you not to but can you give us a rundown of everything you know about her powers before we send someone in to the lion's den," Rossi said kindly.

"From what I have read and have found out through Garcia and her lovely skills, she is telepathic which is, the ability really falls into two categories, Telepathic Communication, which is the ability to transmit information from mind to another, and Telepathic Perception, which is the ability to receive information from another mind. And it is lead to believe she has both"

"Oh great that's all we need" "Also Similar to "telekinesis", "telepathy" is an umbrella term for any ability that involves projecting, reading and manipulating thoughts. Which people who have tried to communicate with her believe she has as well, she seems to have a lot of mind control powers she is able to move things without touching, you might want to protect your mind and become slightly vacant. Shouldn't be too hard for you right?" Reid asked as he gave, a soft smile "Be very grateful that Hotch made me lock my gun away" she said pointedly.

"Oh always so much fun, that though is all I have found out now maybe if you play nice as you always do you can get more out of her but remember she can control your mind, don't believe everything you are thinking or feeling. As we are lead to believe she is like a scared child so tread careful and whatever you do don't talk loud she will have very sensitive hearing"

"Do we even know her real name or is that something else we need to just figure out, or should I say I have to figure out and can someone remind me why I am doing this?" Morgan chuckled "Because your female and you are the most kindest person we know and the only one we can trust with this, but it may take you a while just tread carefully we will be right outside the door"

"Oh that's helpful I will be in a room on my own with the doors locked which you aren't even able to see into and you are telling me I will be okay because you will be right outside the locked door" she raised her eyebrow at him "Can you two just stop, you can't go in there if you are emotionally pissed off and Morgan stop winding her up" Hotch said in a firm tone.

* * *

They entered the 'hospital' and were greeted by the nurse in charge "You understand Agents she hasn't had contact with anyone in two years if not more" they sighed, "Yes we understand, is there anything we need to know to keep her calm?" Rossi asked as they follow her down the long corridor "I need you to remove your belt watches any jewelry you have on including your hair tie" she smiled "Oh okay" "They are her wishes when she came to us," "Okay" I swallowed slightly as the metal door slid open. "Good luck" Morgan whisper as I made my way in.

"Hello?" I called out softly as I took in the dank room which seemed to consist of a bad a table some drawings and a room to the side which I could only think was a bathroom or I hoped it was. I never had a high opinion of asylums. They were for people whom the world could not understand or the very worse criminally insane people they would ever meet.

The soft shuffling drew my attention to the far side of the room; the dim light gave not that much light though I could just make out the shadows. However, I could not work out where she was "I won't hurt you," I whispered as she moved slightly.

I could hear the soft tears coming from her as I carefully moved to her, she looked like a scared child innocent and wild, I stopped just in front of her as I kneeled down reaching out my hand. She flinched as my hand came nearer.

I heard the words whispering in my mind, the voice was soft and kind **"make them stop they are so loud"** I closed my eyes keeping my voice low and soft "Make who stop?" I asked **"They are angry they think too much they hurt me"** "I can't make them stop" I said softly, as the voice whispered in my mind **"You think I'll hurt you"** I shook my head "No, I did, but now I see a scared woman in front of me and I would like to help you" she shook her head.

I had been preparing for this for the last month learning how to block my mind to keep her away from my thoughts to keep this woman out of my fears, feelings and thoughts. **"How do you?"** She asked, "Do what" I smiled kindly at her. Her body screamed of fear of pain and heartache, it also was wild her eyes they were more haunted than the pictures I had seen.

"You don't hurt me" she finally spoke, I could not help but smile "I don't want to hurt you" she tried to move away from me to close herself off more. No one came near her no one took the time to speak to her, they just thought she was her because she was insane but she was not. She was here to protect herself from the world outside and from the thoughts that swirled in her mind.

The thoughts she couldn't switch off the voices of everyone's pain and anger cut into her like a steel blade ripping through glass causing it to shatter into a million pieces, her eyes told of unspoken horrors and tails, the worry that was enhanced by soft blue eyes, her hair was blonde that glimmered in the dim light. I looked at her she looked as though she had not eaten for months. I studied her for a long time.

"Can you come out of the corner I promise I won't hurt you" I asked softly. I wished they hadn't picked me for this, yes I would admit I was good at reading people extremely good with children and those who suffered mental impairments which had come to light when I met Jane at the police station and at the train station before Frank had pulled her in front of the train condemning her to her death. She looked so small and scared as I moved back slightly.

"What do you want?" She asked watching my movements "I just want to talk to you if that's okay" I said kindly. I had already been in the room for half an hour and so far, I had only managed to get her a few feet out of the corner of the room. If my mind was not already strong and my compartments were not, so tightly wound in I knew that this small childlike person could break through. In addition, that was something I did not need.

I was guarded at the best of times, I joked and laughed with the team but I would keep my emotions so tight to my chest they all waited for me to explode. However, I was kind and caring, my loving nature and protectiveness of people had helped me to be held to the highest respect that a person could be.

I was told long ago I would make a good mother and that they could see me with kids because of the warmth and the safety a child felt when I was near. Rossi always saw the pain in my eyes knowing that I had in fact been pregnant and had an abortion at a young age. I could not settle with anyone but right now I wanted to protect this young girl in front of me. In addition, protect her from the world outside.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Since I am unable to answer you in pm Guest…The answer in no….This is what happens when I spend the afternoon with my nephew….He gave me the idea and he's only six….**

I closed my eyes for a moment my head was swimming as though someone was sat inside, I wanted to be sick. I have been in this room now for two hours and I feel like I have been working out in the gym for six hours with Morgan and then hit with a 2x4. Is she doing this to me is she messing in my mind trying to break the walls down and get into my soul.

She is so young but if I do not go out that door soon Morgan is going to come charging in here and destroy everything I have been trying to build with this girl. I do not think I can class her as a woman she is so childlike, but I cannot help but sit and stare into her eyes. I feel like I could drown in them as though they are pulling me into her soul and I am allowing it. She is watching so intently that the fabric of my very soul begins to scream. I did not even know the tears were falling until she spoke.

"I am sorry" she looked at me so sadly and my heart just went out to her, "it's okay, can you believe that I am not going to hurt you?" I ask her she is still hiding but now she is under the table watching me, she gives me a slight nod and my heart warms as I smile. I know though if I do not get out of the room right now I am going to be overrun with emotions that could break down the walls that I have built inside.

"Can I come and see you tomorrow?" I ask I need to get out of here but I also need to find out her name so Garcia can check more information. The name that is on her file I doubt is the truth. She nods at me "Can I ask your name?" I ask hoping I have gained enough trust for her to answer me and not fear me as she does the rest of the world. She nods at me as I smile softly "Jennifer Jareau" it comes out as a whisper I cannot help but smile her voice is raw with emotions and as though she has not spoken in her life.

I smile as I make my way slowly to the door, this is going to take longer than I thought but I just can't stay in that room too long my head is already killing, my emotions are getting the better of me and my god I don't even think I want her to have to help us. She is just too young she maybe older but she is a child and a scared one at that.

* * *

The door opens as the team step back waiting for me to leave. Morgan gives me a look but I refuse to speak until that door is close until I know she won't hear us or be hurt by us. I have this strong desire to protect her and I am not 100% sure why.

"So how did it go and why do you look as though" Morgan started "I am coming back tomorrow and Morgan just drop it, I am tired and could really do with a coffee," "Are you going to tell us anything or not?" Rossi asked, "I will once we are out of this building okay, just please get us out of here"

Hotch looked at me, the last time he had seen me this emotional was when my friend had been killed "Emily" he said softly my head snapped around as I glared at him. "That in there isn't a woman, she is more like a terrified four year old child and you expect me to what drag her out into a world she can't even cope with, to what damage her mind even more than it already is?" I nearly snapped at him.

Morgan stepped between us both "Princess, just go for a walk and calm down" I glared at him "I am calm, I am too calm for my own damn liking, but right now I want to know who the hell has done that to her. Who has made her so fearful what the hell happened to her Hotch!" he sighed, "We don't know, did you get a real name for her or is she really called JJ?" I laughed, "I think that is a shortened name for her, look I want Garcia to run background on her something isn't sitting right we me, no one should look that haunted. Hell even Gideon didn't look that haunted" Rossi sighed "Are you going to tell us her name or shall we stand out her listening to you"

I growled slightly "Her name is Jennifer Jareau so now can we please just get back and allow me to go and speak to Garcia" I sighed opening the door to the SUV.

* * *

"Prentiss what has you so tightly wound up, I know you like to keep things to your chest but my god it doesn't take a profiler to see something happened back there" Morgan said softly. "You remember Jane and how everyone misunderstood her," I said as though I was recounting the first moment I saw her. "How could we forget" I raised my eyebrow slightly "Jane was made that way she wasn't born like that? No one believed her that something had happened they just side-lined her as a crazy person and she was not. She was lost and I saw that look in her eyes it was fear panic but calm at the same time"

"And that has something to do with that woman in there?" Morgan asked, "That's the thing Morgan she isn't a woman she is a child in a woman's body." I sighed we they pulled into the underground parking lot "Emily you can't save everyone you know" he said softly resting his hand on my shoulder. "Don't you think I know that? Hell Morgan this is not about saving her this is not about catching that bastard that killed those children. This is about a woman who seems more haunted and in more pain than anyone, I have seen before. This is about that. What if we get her here and she cannot function or we do more damage than good. Can you really live with knowing you have destroyed a child and if you tell me she is an adult I swear to god the last beating I gave you will be nothing because I won't hold back" Morgan held his hands up "You want to settle down before you go and see Garcia?" I shook my head "Sorry"

* * *

"Hey" I said as she walked into Garcia cave "God Emily what's wrong?" I rolled my eyes "Am I that transparent today?" Garcia laughed "No I just know you too well and you haven't greeted me like that since Jordan was killed" I nodded "I need you to run a background search for me" Garcia smiled "That is what I do best peaches" I chuckled "Jennifer Jareau, I want everything Garcia and thank you" "A pleasure as always Agent Prentiss" I chuckled "How many times are you going to call me that this month?" Garcia turned around pulling up my search programs as she spoke "Well when my Emily is fully back and not so vacant and snappy I will" I laughed "Thanks for that" Garcia smiled "See there's my Emily"

* * *

I made my way back into the bullpen "How did it go?" I smiled "I have got Garcia running a search hopefully we will have something in the next hour or so, guys I am going to head down to the gym" Morgan nodded as they watched me turn back around. "Something happened in that room" Morgan said softly "You only just noticed that, she seems angry and worried like she did when she met Carrie," Reid said. "Yeah I know, but I am so not going down there to talk to her" Reid smiled "Worried she will kick your ass again" "Nope worried she will kill me instead"

* * *

Garcia ran into the bullpen "Where is she?" Garcia shouted as she stopped at Emily's desk "The gym taking out her frustration, what's wrong babygirl?" Morgan asked, "Just go and get her and met me in the conference room" Garcia said as she made her way up the catwalk.

"Garcia?" Hotch said as she walked into his office "Hotch I need you all to see this, Morgan has gone to get Prentiss and sir she is going to throw a fit" Hotch looked at her "You want to give me a better warning as to why?" Garcia shook her head "Not really she was already pissed when she asked me to run the search don't need her knowing that you knew before her" Hotch smiled "You know she wouldn't hurt you" Garcia laughed "I know, but I also know she shoots first and then asks the questions" Hotch nodded "Where is she" "Gym Morgan has gone to get her" with that she made her way into the conference room setting the files down on what she had discovered.

* * *

However, now they all just had to keep me calm, which was not always an easy task. "What did you find Garcia?" I asked as soon as I walked into the room "Jeeze, please tell me you weren't working out with someone?" Garcia said, my hands where cut my jaw looked as though I had been smacked in the face and that was not including the sweat that was dripping off me "No I wasn't just tell me"

"Right the files are in front of you" Garcia waited for them to open them "Jennifer Jareau has been missing for the past 24 years; she was kidnapped from a friend's house when she was four years old. Her real parents are" Garcia was cut off "HER PARENTS ARE FUCKING HUMAN!" Hotch looked at me "calm down Prentiss" he warned "Calm down really someone did this to her, she was a normal child for god's sake. A child not a test subject that offered up their body but a frightened little girl so do not tell me to calm down. Do you have any idea what they have done to her and no doubt put her through" I glared.

Garcia swallowed "There's more" she watched me, her friend for a moment waiting for me to settle back down somewhat "There has never been any sightings of her until 2 years ago, I ran background using her name and JJ mixed in, I found something that seemed to point towards a type of house that looks like a fort of some kind. Like they have in England," I sighed, "She hasn't had contact with people for 24 years has she?" Garcia shook her head "I doubt it, but they did get her age wrong. I don't think we should correct it just yet." Rossi said calmly.

"No 28yr old should look so haunted and scared, I think I can guess what they did to her" I said in a soft sigh "But that could also explain how the two mutants were killed she must have done it" Morgan said "So she is a killer" Reid said causing me to snap "You are telling me being held for over 24yrs turned her into a killer if that was true I would be dead but I am not she is still a child regardless of age she is scared and if anyone of you try and hurt her, so help me god, you will know the full extent of my temper" Morgan and Reid backed up slightly "That wasn't what he was saying Prentiss and you know it. You and Reid are normally on the same page. Yes she more than likely did kill them so yes she is a killer but not the type that should be locked away; she needs someone to understand her"

I sighed "Sorry Reid, just things like this make my blood boil and if any of you comment about that" Rossi chuckled "Emily Prentiss sit down and lets learn and look at this more and then maybe you can help her but also we need her to help us, do you think she will" Hotch asked. I slumped my shoulders slightly "In all honesty Hotch I don't know she is scared hell it took me half an hour just to get her out of the corner she was cowered into" Hotch nodded "Right let's get some rest and work on this tomorrow, we still have 91 hours to break him for a confession" I mumbled under my breath collecting my things before heading out.

* * *

"You think she will be alright" Morgan asked "She has to be, she is the only one who can do this, the last one that was sent even within a foot of her door has spent the last 9months tied to a hospital bed" Hotch said softly "And we didn't tell her this because" Rossi laughed "You really want to tell her that, the CIA trained her, she took on the most dangerous criminals in the world long before she joined us so if you would like to tell her then go for it but it will be your funeral" Rossi warned "She is still going to be pissed when she finds out" "Yes but she will have calmed down by then and maybe she will have relaxed" Morgan laughed "Even bourbon couldn't make her relax"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

I could not go home, there was nothing there for me anyway, nothing to ease my mind. That we were doing the right thing, because I do not believe we are. You see this all started some four months ago, our unit consists of two teams when we are on stand down they cover. We are what they class as team one and if you have not worked it out. the other is team two. They had stumbled onto a grave site as such, and it wasn't even the case they were working on so they had two separate cases and just when things couldn't get any worse for them, they stumbled on to another grave site in the end they had found four different sites and they wouldn't listen to me and Reid when we told them there will be a fifth.

Even though it was not our case Reid and me were intrigued I guess two nerds who wanted to put a puzzle together and we did it in our breaks and off the clock so no one could say anything. The sites where nearly making up a star and if they could just find the last one it would be a five-star and we needed to know if the point was at the top or the bottom. In addition, yes that would have been the most important piece of this little puzzle. However, we never found it, they had found a guy and it was linked through DNA and other evidence that had been found.

Now this is why they are team two. Twenty bodies have been found so far and I am sure there will be more, but the idiots trusted an outsider to bring the evidence to be processed. I mean how stupid can you be. If you find the evidence you makes sure yourself that it gets to the correct place not rely on someone you do not know. This is what happened it had disappeared. Therefore, four months hard work was spiralling out of control. Therefore, our stupid idiot boss woman. God I hate her. Madam Strauss, even the name is enough to give children nightmares.

She came up with the bright idea of setting me up with this team, which would spend the next month getting me to block my thoughts from others. I was trained by the CIA and Interpol to do this, so I had to pretend that I did not know how to do it. How the hell do they think spies are able to deceive so many people?

I mean my team didn't know about my time there until it was nearly too late and then I ended up spending 6 months in hiding in order to live. They all hated me when I came back, Morgan was so broken. But still I could not and would not allow my feelings to show but they did when Jordan got caught in the crossfire of the bullet, we didn't even see it coming only when her body fell to the ground and I blamed myself for that, for a whole year to the point I nearly turned in my badge and gun.

I was trained to kill, I was trained to hate and destroy those who stood in my way, I was a monster back then, people feared me even my old boss did. Nevertheless, when you strap someone to a chair and beat them every day just so you can harden and break them, you make a monster. They trained me for a full year before I went on my mission. In addition, that mission changed my life when my eyes fell on that small child; he wanted me to bring him up as a killer with no morals no concision and no respect for them around him. He was my solace, it was why after the raid I brought him here and gave him a new family and somewhere he would be safe with the only person I have ever trusted.

And now they have brought that side of me out again, I have to now harden myself again but how can I when I looked into her eyes they nearly screamed at me and I think, if her eyes could have spoken they would have and that is what has lead me back here in the middle of the night without my team without my back up. I am here alone because I need to be. I need her to trust me and for some reason I need to allow her in, but I worry if she sees the full extent of what my past holds I could be in fact putting myself in danger and I don't care. This girl needs my help; maybe it is because I could not save Jane all those years ago. This girl needs to know that someone does care about her or did care about her.

Is my maternal side showing again or is it a complete sense of understanding of the mental break down and knowing what they may have done to her. I was there when they started these experiments and even back then, I told them they were playing at being god and no one should do that because it will never end well. However, they did not listen then and they have not listened now. In saying this, maybe it is a good thing, this girl has been through so much, is it wrong to want to be allowed to show her a kindness she more than likely has not seen since she was a baby.

* * *

"I don't care about the time, I need to speak to her I was here earlier today" I swear I want to knock this stupid nurses head off, but I need to stay as calm as I can as she leads me down the corridor, yes I will admit 1am is not the right or best time but I can't settle. I need to see her and I need to do this alone. "Ma'am you can't take that inside" the nurse says looking at the paper in my hand I raise my eyebrow at her.

"Paper is not going to hurt her and it sure as hell isn't going to hurt me now open the door" I think my voice tells her not to disagree with me because the door is starting to open as I make my way in, "I will wait outside for you" again I turn to look at her "I wouldn't bother I will be awhile and I would rather her have someone around who isn't going to hurt her" Morgan always says that my glare could kill someone but she ran back down the hall leaving the door to slide closed behind me as I make my way in.

"Jennifer" I keep my voice soft as I walk in slightly, last thing I want is to scare her more than she is. Has no one shown her any type of love? "You came back" and for some reason I don't mind having a conversation with someone who answers me through my mind "I did," I smile softly as I scan around trying to locate her "You came alone" she spoke this time, her voice is so sweet and soft I can't help but smile "You are right again, I didn't like leaving you earlier" I know I need to be honest with her and I knew I had to keep calm.

"Why do you care" I close my eyes slightly as I try to find the right words but I can't my words cannot explain why I can't leave her here "You don't belong here" and I am truthful again because she doesn't belong here.

"I don't belong anywhere" I look at her, her eyes shine in the dim light "You do sweetheart" I couldn't help the word that slipped out but it was out there now and I couldn't take it back even if I wanted to. "I don't they told me" I couldn't help the frown that appeared on my face as I spoke "Who told you that sweetheart" there it was again that slip of words.

"My keepers" I looked at her in shock, how could anyone tell a child that they do not belong here? How could someone make someone feel so hurt and I know she is hurting because I can feel her pain. Not through, her doing anything I can just feel it, as I could with Jane. Like I could when I saw Reid convulse on the floor when he was kidnapped. Do I allow a compartment to open so she can see and feel what love is or will it do more harm than good?

"Who brought you here?" I ask because I know everything we learnt before we came here to meet her is a lie and I need the truth. I need to know why someone so young is locked away like an animal as though she was not allowed in the world that once welcomed her with open arms, she suckled on her mother's breast, she knew love once but now, now she only sees and knows pain and fear. Why did no one notice how could someone keep a child hidden from the world?

"The men who came" I looked at her for a moment "What men sweetheart" I asked I think I know what she is going to say "they had suites and guns and badges and funny letters but I couldn't see their thoughts, just like I can't see yours. Are you going to hurt me as well" it was in that moment I knew, I knew what I had to do and it would be my life I was risking and I did not care. She needed to know and she needed to see that not all humans were cruel and mean.

"I can let you see but I worry I will hurt you and that my sweet girl is the last thing I want" she keeps her distance from me, her eyes study me. It reminds me of how me and Reid will work on the murder board while the other three are confused about what we are doing and thinking. Hell even Jordan could not understand us. The day I lost her, was the day I lost a reason to live and fight but maybe now I do have a reason.

"Jennifer, you don't have to stay here" I keep my voice soft, and I know I am right she doesn't have to stay here no one can make her and no one can stop her from leaving either and if they tried they would have to get through me. And that is something even the CIA could not manage.

JJ moved closer as she studied me "Who are you" she asked, I couldn't help but smile "My name is Emily Prentiss and I work for the FBI but I also can promise you I am not here to do you any harm" I saw a spark in her eye, it was as if the lights switch had been flicked inside her as she moved closer. I kept still as not to scare her, but I was in shock as she curled up on my lap, I wrapped my arms around her as I whispered softly "Your safe now no one is ever going to hurt you again" I felt her nod against me, her body became heavy and it was with that I knew she was asleep and that is when my mind wondered to how long is it since this poor girl had slept, she didn't even look like she had eaten properly in months as I can only feel the bone beneath the skin and the lack of muscle worries me.

I rock her in my arms as you would a baby her head resting just on my chest as my heart beat soothes her I keep her close to me as I lay down allowing her body to curl into mine. I know I should not have done it but I fell asleep holding this small woman in my arms. Happy knowing she was safe from harm even if it was just for one night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

I must have only gotten a few hours' sleep, which with the job I have I am use to, but I cannot move yet as my fingers run through her hair. She is sleeping and right now, you would not notice she is a scared child, she looks adult until she opens her eyes that is. I wish I knew why she was so haunted; I knew what treatment Declan would have gotten if he had been found as Ian's son. That was why I hid him and faked his death, but this right here feels like I did that day when they stormed the villa.

She mummers slightly as I continue to run my fingers through her hair. I just pray that when she wakes she remembers she fell asleep in my arms and doesn't panic, her fingers are wrapped that tightly around my top which I need to keep tucked inside my pants don't need her to panic if she sees the scars that lay beneath.

* * *

"What do you mean you can't find her?" Hotch asked "I mean I can't find her, did you think I was saying it to trick you?" Garcia said with a hint of sarcasm "Well Declan rung me saying she hadn't picked him up last night," Garcia frowned "Sir she wouldn't leave that sweet boy alone and" she sighed "Hotch I can't even get a signal off her cell" Hotch sighed "Keep looking and the second you find something ring me and Garcia this is important" "You think I don't know this is important Jeeze last time she disappeared she nearly died" Garcia said in frustration as she rolled her eyes just as he closed the door behind himself.

"What you got Morgan," Hotch said walking into the bullpen "Well her car is still here and she isn't in the gym" his shoulders slumped "That woman is going to be the death of us all" Rossi said walking up behind them both "And no one has been to her apartment" he said handing Morgan and Reid their morning coffees. Hotch raised his eyebrow at him "In your office, you really think I would forget you?" he nodded slightly "Just find her, Emily is not one to just vanish without a very good reason" Hotch said before making his way up the catwalk.

"Considering Emily's mood when she left last night it might be safe to say she needs some alone time to regain strength and build her compartments even higher since she said she was going to go back and talk with her again" Reid said as he sipped his coffee. "She wouldn't would she?" Morgan looked at Rossi "You mean she wouldn't go off on her own and deal with something without the team as back up and her not fully knowing what she is walking into" Morgan cringed "He is going to kill her"

Reid looked at them confused. "Did I miss something?" Morgan shook his head "Yeah kid we think we know where she is" Morgan said picking up his phone "Yes I am running the searches and no I don't have anything more" "Whoa babygirl it's me, who rattled your cage" Morgan said softly "You mean beside Hotch and Agent I can take the world on alone without anyone's help" Morgan had to hold back his snigger at the rundown of Emily "Can you check with the asylum and see if my princess turned up there" Morgan asked.

"Damn it why didn't I think of that" Morgan laughed "Because you don't sit up here listening to Reid babble hit me back babygirl" "I will my love" Morgan shook his head "I don't babble" Reid said defensively "Yeah you do kid, it is just that Emily stops us from saying anything" Reid frowned slightly "Morgan you don't think that Emily is" Morgan laughed "No she isn't kid, trust me on that, I think she has been through more things than we can ever know about." Reid smiled "I think Jordan knew" Morgan laughed, "I would hope her wife knew. Look kid let it go. Emily is Emily and no matter what she has done we will always be there for her and pull her back before she destroys herself again" Reid nodded "I don't like the fact that she has had to close herself off from us like she has"

Morgan sighed "I know kid but trust me when this is over we will get our Emily back, because I know none of us like her that much right now but remember it was Strauss that made her do this, it wasn't Emily's choice." Rossi laughed, "Yeah and she did it with her arms wide open because she feels she has nothing to live for anymore. We might not get her back this time" he warned "We will get her back and we need her back" Rossi nodded "I know we do kiddo, but maybe she has been pushed too far this time"

"This is Emily we are talking about, we will get her back just like every other time we have had to bring her back from the brink and if we can't Strauss is going to have a hell of a lot to answer to" Morgan said. "You know if they had listened to Emily years ago none of this would have happened don't you?" Reid mumbled, "What do you mean?" Reid shrugged "She always said the mutant gene was playing at being god and one day it will bite everyone is the ass. Hell she even had a bad feeling about this and from what we have learnt about this JJ she was right, so what else has she been right about?" Reid asked Morgan sighed, "I don't know kid. All I do know is it took us a year to get her back and now we are losing her again" Reid smiled "I don't think we will lose her"

* * *

Garcia rushed into the bullpen heading straight towards Hotch's office "Babygirl?" she shook her head letting a comment fly around them "He is going to kill her" with that they all followed her up and stood in the doorway as she spoke to Hotch "Sir, I found her" she said softly "Where is she?" Garcia moved slightly "The asylum according to the nurse she arrived at 1am and hasn't left yet" "SHE DID WHAT!" he shouted "Just what the hell does she think she is playing at," he shook his head "When will she learn we are a team" Garcia sighed as Rossi spoke softly "Strauss brought Lauren back, we didn't send Emily there Hotch" Morgan groaned "Damn it"

Lauren was heartless she was cold and untrusting, she was your worst nightmare, she would kill you rather than look at you and god help anyone who crossed her. Those were the warnings they had been given nearly two years ago and now they had brought that back out in her Jordan even feared Lauren. Hell even the CIA would not have anything to do with Lauren, "You know she isn't Lauren, if she was she wouldn't have gotten so mad when she saw that JJ was born human" Reid said softly.

"That really doesn't settle me, because if she was born human that means they have done unspeakable things to her as a child and that is something even Emily would bring Lauren back for," Rossi warned. "Yes that is true but also Emily would never do that in front of a child and that is how Emily referred to her as a child," Reid pointed out.

* * *

"Shh, your safe Jennifer" I whispered as I ran my fingers through her silken hair, JJ whimpered in her sleep as she kept tight hold of my top, I smiled sadly at the now shivering form next to her as she pulled JJ closer "I've got you sweetheart" I whispered in her ear hoping to calm her down or wake her at least. She closed her eyes slightly as the thoughts entered her mind **"Why are you so sad"** I smiled softly "I am sad because someone did this to you sweetheart" JJ nodded against her "I remember everything" I looked at her in shock as the words travelled through her mind.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Fingers are crossed with this chapter!**

"I remember everything, that they did" JJ's voice was soft and more of a whisper as she spoke "And you understand" I swallowed hard as she nodded softly "I understand, Jennifer you don't need to explain if you" JJ moved closer her breath tickling my neck I swallowed again the thought flashed through my mind so fast. I should not have come here.

"I was staying at my friend's house we were having a sleep over. It was warm and the window was open, they came inside. I was not asleep but my friend was I cannot remember her name, they took me told me I was theirs and I had to be a good girl. The man scared me and I didn't make a sound, the woman though she glowed bright like peaceful." She explained

JJ stayed curled into me as she spoke, I kept quite running her fingers through her hair as she continued talking. Though it seemed she was more rambling than speaking but for now all I could do was hold her close and give her as much comfort as I could manage without opening my heart.

"They put me in a big car she stayed at my side, I missed my momma and daddy, they told me they didn't want me that I was theirs, and they took me to a big house I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone. My room was pretty it had princesses and castles on the walls, and a bed with four posts with a vale hanging over it, she told me it was called a four-poster bed. They gave me dolls and food I do not know how long I have been there with them before they took me into what look like a dungeon they put me in a room with a metal door and no window, they told me that was my new room. I didn't like that room."

I pulled her closer into my body as I continued to run my fingers through her hair "You don't need to tell me if it hurts too much sweetheart" I whispered feeling the shudders that came from JJ as she spoke. The way JJ was talking I was reminded of a small child I couldn't help but pull her closer making soothing sounds deep in my throat as I listened to JJ talk.

"They injected a needle into my arm. It hurt so much not like the shots the doctor gave me. I could feel it running through my body; I screamed it hurt so bad, I guess I passed out because when I woke I was in the room again. This time though I was strapped down to the bed, the chains were so tight that they cut into my skin. I felt like my insides were burning with a deep fire that ran through my veins trying to escape but it had no place to go, time and days don't mean anything to me, the room was so dark and dank sometimes they turned the dimly light on which only casted a shadow over the room. But it hurt my eyes"

I felt her tense against her "Jennifer what's wrong" she whispered "They are here" the voice echoed in her mind as she looked towards the door "Who sweetheart" I felt her shiver as she spoke to me in my mind "men angry men. You're in trouble" I groaned, "it's okay I promise" I said softly as JJ moved over towards the corner away from the voices that were now screaming in her mind.

* * *

I gave a reassuring smile as the door to the room opened and I stepped outside, "Just what the hell are you playing at Prentiss" Hotch glared at me. I walked past him ignoring him as the rest of them followed. They stepped outside into the harsh light of the day before I turned on my heals glaring at him "I am not playing at anything Hotch. You sent me in there to do a job and that is what I am doing" Morgan sighed, "princess, she is dangerous," he said calmly though he now wished he had not said anything. "Dangerous! She is dangerous are you kidding me! I could do more damage with my little toe than she could."

* * *

Reid walked towards me "Emily" he said looking sadly into my eyes, I raised my hand resting it against his cheek "I am still here Reid I promise" my voice soft and gentle as he nodded "Why did you come here?" he asked. They knew that I would never aim my temper at him as I would the others, there had always been something innocent and childlike with Reid and me. I knew he had already had enough pain to last him a lifetime.

"She doesn't belong in there Reid" he frowned slightly "What do you mean" I motioned him to walk with me away from the team. "She isn't dangerous, she is scared it is as though she has never seen kindness or love in her life and no one should go through that" my eyes begged him to understand what I was meaning.

"You have a connection with her don't you?" "Yes. A deep one Reid" I closed my eyes "I want to take her home with me. But I know they will kick off" he nodded "They might but Emily since they fear you, they might let it slide but you don't know what you might bring out with you. She may seem childlike but what happens when she gets out into the world and cannot control the thoughts of others, what happens when she senses others pain and anger. And what if she turns it on you"

I gave a warm smile "Reid you forget sometimes who and what I am don't you" he nodded softly "I know you Emily, I know you better than the team but what if your wrong this time what happens then?" he asked "If I am wrong I will deal with it, Reid my home is set up for people like her I can't turn my back just because her mind is fractured, I can help her with that and you know I can I can teach her how to block the thoughts out and how to become numb to it all"

Reid sighed, "You know one day you will have to tell the team right?" I smiled and laughed "Yeah because that will go down so well" I rolled my eyes "Spencer listen to me" I said as I lifted his chin so their eyes locked with one another "No one will ever know about me that is a secret that is long buried inside of me, inside of the CIA and inside Interpol. Moreover, I trust you to keep my secret, I get the impression Jennifer knows though she has not said anything. But Reid they can't know and you understand why don't you" he nodded softly "But you're not a mutant Emily you never were"

I winked at him "And I never will be, but I am the reason they exist, it was my DNA that helped I warned them all Reid and they didn't listen and no one will listen now. I know what she went through I know what they did to her because I have seen what they tried in the past and god help me it makes me sick to my stomach to think about it" he ran his fingers softly through her hair. "Be safe Emily, and try not to lose your temper when they try and go against you" I nodded as we made our way back towards the team.

* * *

"Well?" Morgan said as he looked at us both "Well what?" I said with a slight glare "You know what Emily it doesn't matter you don't trust us you never have; you will do what you want and fuck anyone who tries to help you. When will you understand you don't have to do everything alone?" Morgan snapped. I closed my eyes, "I never said I had to do everything alone did I Derek! This was never my idea I think I remember telling everyone to leave it alone but no one listened to me. So I came here and what I found in that room is less dangerous than a beetle!" Rossi cracked a smile "You sure about that kiddo?" I nodded "More than I have been sure of anything in my life and that is why I know you will never understand what I am going to do" I glared at them.

"And since I know you won't allow it but maybe you will then understand why I tend to do things alone and on my own. I am taking her home with me" I looked straight at Hotch as I spoke "No way Emily" he shook his head "Did you have the common sense washed out of you in that room or something" Morgan said. I took a deep breath trying to keep myself calm and my anger under control "Hotch you cannot stop me from taking her home, you have no control over my personal life. And also this was your idea to get her to join the team, so what is your choice" I asked, my voice was too calm even for Hotch's liking. "No matter what I say you're going to do it anyway aren't you" I smiled.

"There are so many things you will never understand or see but if you trust me as much as you all say you do. You will trust me enough to allow me to do this allow me to take her away from this hell she has known and the pain that she has felt in the past. Now I can do it without your support but I would rather do it with your support." I looked at Rossi hoping that one of them understood me.

"It's not about trust Emily it is about trusting someone else with you that could in fact kill you" Morgan said carefully "She is not going to kill me, she isn't going to hurt me, I will do this and you know what will happen if you even try to stop me" my eyes looked dangerously at Hotch "Prentiss you have our support but if this goes wrong it is on your head." "And good luck convincing that inside there" I glared at Morgan "You know for such a kind-hearted man you can be a bastard" I growled.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Sorry this has taken so long but I think I have finally figured it out with this story. I am hoping this chapter works…But as ever please remember this is totally AU…The only thing that remains the same is the fact that they are profilers apart from JJ…**

I walked away from the team asking Reid to come back and get me, which he agreed to. His mind may always be busy but he is harmless, Morgan cant guard his feelings let alone his emotions from anyone and with his attitude lately I can't trust him around her, his emotions are hurting me at the moment so god knows what they will do to Jennifer. Hotch well he is Hotch he does not trust people and he trusts women even less. Rossi he is closed off and protective which he always has been and I love him for that, but because of the protectiveness of him I know I can't allow him with me until I at least get her to agree to come to my home. This in its self is a task, but I also know she will be safer at my home than she is in here and at least then, I can get some real food inside her.

I make my way back down the same corridors to her room, I tell the nurse not to wait as I walk inside slowly "You came back" I smile at the sound of her voice "I promised I would didn't I" I keep my voice soft and light as she moves out of the corner, her eyes solely focused on me. "What's wrong" I close my eyes slightly "Nothing is wrong. May I sit down?" I ask looking at the chair, which is a nice distance from her as she nods. "You seem different" I nod "I have something important I want to talk to you about" she watches me for a time.

Her eyes sadden slightly "You're not coming back are you" I can't help but smile at her as I speak "Jennifer sit down sweetheart and let me talk to you please" she moves further into the corner away from me as though she is trying to protect herself. "Why are you here Jennifer? Why have you confined yourself here and never left?" I can see her glaring at me now "Jennifer do you want to leave here?" I sigh to myself; sometimes people are too hard to communicate with. I know she is a lot brighter than people say she is as I watch her carefully. "I don't belong anywhere" I close my eyes as I speak though this time I shock her.

'**You do belong Jennifer just like I do' **her eyes are wide as she looks at me. I soften my eyes and my whole demeanour towards her. It looks as though she is studying me trying to work it out as I let a soft smile ghost my lips "I won't hurt you I promise. Jennifer you do not belong here" this time I use my words. I doubt anyone has ever tapped into her mind before, as I can see the cogs turning inside.

"Where can I go?" her voice is so childlike as I smile softly "I would like you to come to my home" she shakes her head at me "Jennifer, I promise you it is safe there" I know what she is thinking as I bow my head down "I won't be though" I can't help but chuckle "you will be more than safe there. I can't make you come with me Jennifer but I would like you to come with me when my friend comes to collect me."

* * *

"You cannot be serious, you have to stop her!" Garcia scowled at Morgan "I hate to remind you but with Prentiss there is no stopping her, she will always do what she likes" Morgan sighed "I think in truth we lost Prentiss a long time ago babygirl" Morgan's eyes saddened "Derek Morgan we haven't lost her at all. We have put her in a stupid situation that has more than likely opened old memories and let's not forget what happened to her what would you be like in her shoes? Just be there for her please." Morgan nodded "I will try to be"

* * *

"What will happen?" JJ asked, "What will happen when?" I said softly "out there" I chuckled slightly "Well first the doors open then we walk down the corridor and get into the car where my friend will drive us to my home" JJ raised her eyebrows slightly "You're not funny you know" I smiled "Thanks, your so kind. So are you ready to come out into the world instead of hiding away," I asked kindly "Will your friend hurt me?" JJ asked as the fear over took her mind.

"I want you to listen to me okay" JJ nodded "His mind is slightly busy but he won't hurt you, he will have many questions swirling inside but I promise I trust him not to hurt you" JJ gave a worried smile "What do you want from me though?" I shook my head "I don't really want anything other than to get you out of this place and somewhere you can't be hurt" JJ nodded slightly as the doors began to open.

Reid smiled as the doors opened fully "Hey" he said shyly "Reid I want you to meet Jennifer" I smiled as JJ hid behind me "Hi" JJ mumbled as she looked at him "I told the nurse that we are all going to be leaving and signed her forms to get her discharged" I gave a thankful smile **'you are right his mind is very busy' **I chuckled "Jennifer, have you got some clothes to wear, instead of that gown?" I asked kindly as Reid rose his eyebrows at her "I don't have anything" she whispered. Reid smiled softly "Emily I took the liberty of going to yours and picking some clothes up "And this Reid is why I love you" I smirked. I walked over as Reid handed me the clothes "I'll wait outside"

* * *

"I know they will be slightly big but we can get you some clothes once we are out of here" passing her the clothes that Reid had brought, "Would you like me to pack your things" I asked, my jaw dropped slightly as JJ removed her clothes in front of me. I swallowed thickly as I averted my eyes. "Sorry" JJ said looking at me. I was blushing slightly "No need for sorry, I" words failed as I met JJ's eyes and gave her a coy smile. JJ smiled as she finished buttoning up the blouse "I only have my drawing" she said in a whispered breath "Well let's get them safely into a bag" I closed my eyes slightly as I moved over to the desk.

* * *

The door opened again as Reid smiled at them both he studied Emily for a moment before he found his voice "Are you both" I nodded "We are, Jennifer this may hurt okay but I want you to stay close to me and concentrate on Reid," JJ looked at me confused "Trust me Reid's mind is enough to keep the voices at bay" she nodded as she looked at him "Just don't give me a headache please" he said shyly. "I'll try not to" she whispered as she gripped my top, and in turn I wrapped my arm around her.

"Garcia isn't happy with me is she Reid" I asked as they made their way down the corridor "She is Garcia it is natural for her to worry about you" he said softly as he walked slightly in front of us both. "And Morgan?" Reid sighed "He thinks he has lost you and like Garcia is worried about you" I nodded as JJ moved closer into my side "You doing okay there Jennifer?" I asked feeling JJ wrapping herself more into my body. "Voices to loud" she whispered "Reid did you do as I asked" as my hand rested against JJ's head as they made their way to the car "I did, all set up in the car for you" I breathed a sigh of relief as I opened the car door.

I let JJ get in first following behind her as Reid got into the driver's seat "Let's not get lost this time Reid" I teased as I handed JJ some headphones "Trust me they will help" I said softly as JJ leaned into my side placing the headphones on, as the classical music played softly into her ears. "Let's get home; are you staying for something to eat Reid?" I asked as we set off.

"As long as it's pizza" I chuckled "That can be arranged" JJ closed her eyes pushing more into my side as we made the short car journey towards my house.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Inside JJ's mind and thoughts.**

I really wish I knew why I followed her so easily and why I am able to go to her home without fear. I do normally fear and I am slightly but not of Emily but of people the unknown. The car ride was short the music helped with the voices though I did as she instructed and focused on Reid. His mind is so busy but no matter how much I tried to pry, I could not get close. I heard the resounding words form in my head and it scared me slightly **'Don't go looking for something you aren't ready for' **it made no sense.

Here I am trusting someone, well two people and one of the two people are that closed off and guarded it makes the great wall of china more penetrable, but Emily's walls are, cast-iron and boulders surrounding her mind as though if on lock should falter another one will automatically fall in its place. I study her though I focus on Reid. She has a calming presence about her, but I am cautious and maybe with good reason. Something inside screams, she is dangerous and that scares me more than being outside where I can feel everyone's emotions everyone's thoughts.

People seem to think being able to read a person to know what they are thinking would be a blessing. Well I for one can tell you it is not, it hurts. People have so many emotions swirling inside them and all at the same time, some consist of evil thoughts and feelings, some are happy and bubbly but the people I fear are the ones where you can look inside their mind and it is nothing but a blank void, no hope, no happiness and worst of all no feelings, those are the thoughts I want to run from.

Though I cannot read Emily I know there is no blankness no great void of nothing it is just guarded. What is she afraid of or what is she afraid I may find? Well we at her home and whoa, it is beautiful. I have never seen so many books! She shows me around and I can hear Reid on the phone ordering the food. I understand now why she told me he is harmless. He is like a kitten though I see a total amount of respect for Emily as he talks to her, but he seems worried.

It feels nice here not what I am use too, I watch her for a moment as I slowly make my way into the room which is where they are sitting, I hoover slightly unsure if I am allowed to sit or where I should sit. I want so much to sit next to Emily and curl into her and now she is looking at me watching me and part of me wishes I could see inside her mind and know what it is she is thinking.

"Come and sit down Jennifer," Emily's says with a soft smile as she pats the cushion next to her. Can she read my mind? Because it is what I am wishing for as I slowly make my way over, Reid smiles at me and I return it though it is a shy smile but he just nods at me. I finally sit next to her and I wish I could ask her if she would hold me. I felt so safe in her arms last night, again I feel her eyes on me as I turn my face to look at her, she smiles so softly at me and opens her arms her eyes drift to the space she has made and in the one simple gesture I know she is telling me I can curl into her. Moreover, I do so, as easily as her arm wraps around me her voice is a soft whisper "Your safe sweetheart" her lips press against my head as I nuzzle my face into her neck.

The ringing of the bell scares me as I try to flee Emily's arms wrap slightly tighter as she tells Reid the money is on the side. "It's the pizza sweetie, no one is going to hurt you not in my home or whenever I am around you and that is something I am able to promise" again her lips touch my head and I can't help respond as my lips touch her neck. I feel her skin shudder underneath my lips and I start to regret my actions, but I could not help it.

I do not know how else to express what I am feeling or even how I should react to someone showing me such kindness. It is strange and foreign ground to me; Emily's grip on me does not alter as Reid walks back in with the boxes containing the pizzas "Did you give a tip?" Emily asks as her arm slackens off the grip she had on my body. "I did" he smiles shyly at her.

I look at her then at the food, where I grew up I wasn't allowed to eat until everyone else was finished so if I was lucky I ate if I wasn't I didn't. "Jennifer get yourself a slice of pizza, if you don't like it I can make you something else" Emily said softly. I look at her in shock now, I am not use to being treated like this as she hands me the plate, and I study her face again but this time I am looking deeper.

"I best get going Emily, I will see you Monday?" Reid asked as he moved the boxes, "I will see you Monday and Reid you can let them know I am okay" Emily said with a slight smirk. After Emily has seen Reid out she makes her way into the kitchen turning the pot on to make us both a coffee. "Thank you" I said softly as I walked in making Emily turn around "For what?" Emily smiled softly at me "I made you a coffee" she said handing me the cup "For getting me out of that place" I said softly as I looked at the floor not meeting her eye line.

Emily walked over placing her finger under my chin lifting it gently so she could see my eyes, "You don't have to be afraid" she whispered holding my eyes in her own "I don't understand what it is you want from me" I said as I stared deeply into kind brown eyes "I don't want anything from you Jennifer, aside from I would like to get to know you and help you stop hiding" I looked at her puzzled "I hide because it hurts so badly and I can't turn it off I get no peace. Even in that place I could hear everything, I couldn't sleep they were so loud in so much pain" I said as tears formed in my soft blue eyes. "Do I hurt you?" Emily asked as I shook my head "No, why do you keep me locked out?" I asked.

Emily sighed as she moved away slightly "What is in my mind will hurt you, it will scare you and I know you wouldn't talk to me if you saw" Emily said turning her back away from me. "Jennifer not everything is good in this world and everyone has a past and mine is painful I guess, even my friends feared me when my past came out when they found out what I have done what I did" Emily rested her hands on the sink as she stared out into the dark night sky. "Maybe one day but right now isn't about me, it isn't about my past or who I am or even who I was," Emily whispered taking a steady breath.

"Your friend is worried about you, and so are the others" I said. Emily let out a dry chuckle "You need to stop taking everything you feel and hear and making it true. Let me run you a bath and you can relax for the night and then I will show you to your room" Emily said as she felt her walls slowly starting to struggle inside. **'don't go searching Jennifer, I will allow you one day, but not now' **I looked at her in slight shock the words vibrating in my mind as though a knife was placed inside me, I could feel the anger and pain in those few words. "Sorry" I whispered as I turned to move away from Emily.

"Jennifer you don't need to be sorry, just allow me to help you and then we will see okay, now let me show you where the bathroom is" Emily said softly keeping her voice calm as she made her way past me. Emily guided me upstairs to the bedroom first so I knew where to go after my bath, before taking me down the short hallway to the bathroom. I swallowed as I looked at the tub, backing away slightly "Jennifer what is it?" Emily asks as her movements came to an abrupt standstill.

I couldn't answer as I looked at the white metal bath the fear flashing in my eyes, the screaming in my mind as my breath become unsteady, backing into the corner. All Emily could do was watch and wait. "Look at me Jennifer" Emily said softly, getting no reply "Jennifer look at me" her voice slightly firmer as she spoke causing me to look at her. The fear held in my blue orbs as she looked on in horror.

Keeping her movements slow and her arms open to the side Emily made her way towards me, much like you would with a wide animal, "Jennifer look at me please" Emily softened her voice more as she spoke, there had been so much damaged done to me. My eyes fixated on the bath in front of my the words trembled out of my mouth. "Is there bleach in it" Emily looked at me in shock as she began to find her voice "No darling just water I promise" I shook my head not wanting to believe what Emily had said.

Emily moved away towards the bath turning the tap on allowing it to fill slowly "Jennifer I can prove it isn't bleach" Emily said firmly as the steam rose from the water, checking the temperature before adding cold her eyes not fully leaving me. Once it was hot, enough not to burn her skin Emily rolled her sleeves up and placed her full arm into the bath. I watched her from the corner as I began to stand on shaky legs "Will it hurt me?" my voice wavered as I spoke "No it won't" Emily replied keeping her arm in the warm water.

I nodded her eyes watching the arm which laid in the water the steam rising as the next words fell from my lips "Don't leave me please" I whispered the fear latent in my voice. Emily swallowed thickly as she nodded "Okay" Emily closed her eyes slightly as I once again removed my clothes not once asking Emily to leave much like I had in the asylum.

Emily could not help the redness that took over her cheeks and neck as I made my way over on still very shaky legs; Emily kept her eyes averted as she offered her hand out to help me in, which I gratefully took, lowering my body into the warm water. A content sigh left my lips as the heat attacked my skin. Emily moved away sitting on the toilet seat. She could not help look towards me, she closed her eyes slightly.

It had been too long since she had cast her eyes over a female form.

"The soap is there Jennifer" she said calmly as I just sat in the bath as though I daren't move as though I had never had a bath or been allowed to bathe before. My eyes cast down "I don't know what to do" Emily eyes widened slightly. "You have never had a bath?" Emily asked trying to keep the shock out of her voice. "Well yes but" the tears formed in my eyes "You weren't allowed to bathe was you?" Emily asked as the shock left her body. Her eyes softened as I shook her head, "Do you want me to?" Emily again could not help the blush the ran over her skin. All I could do was nod, I just did not know what I was meant to do.

Emily kept her movements soft and gentle as she helped and showed me what to do, she was reminded of the times she use to help bathe Declan, but for someone who was an adult, it was heart breaking to think that inside my mind was a child that hadn't had the simple things in life was never allowed to be a child to play have friends, nothing other than be used as an experiment for someone else's gain and it sickened her, it made the blood boil in her skin. It also made her wonder what else I did not know how to do, did I know how to live in this world or was I just caged like an animal just a test subject for others amusement.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Sorry for the delay but I have been trying to figure this out as I go since it is totally different from anything else I have ever written before….So please be patience with me….**

My past was not something anyone could fully hide, I was a trained killing machine, and she was trained over a period on months to lose myself to lose the ability to care, to fear and to feel pain. I was a wild animal, but that was over ten years ago but even now it sometimes came through the nightmares that would plague my dreams my mind and my soul. I hardly slept not because of the fear of the nightmares attacking but because of things, I had done. There was not just Ian Doyle who I had betrayed in a sense. I betrayed him by getting close, close enough to hurt him and destroy him. It was my ability to get people to trust me that made me more dangerous than anything. Nevertheless, this was just part of who I was, who I am.

My genetic makeup played into it a great deal, not just my looks but being able to see and hear things before they happened; unfortunately, it never happened when I was close to someone, when I had allowed someone to touch my heart my soul. The very fabric of my being, I had lost my family years ago, I had finally cut all the strings that held me to my mother it was the one blessing of pretending to be dead for six months.

Morgan feared me not because I had ever hurt him but because sometimes I would rather kill you than talk to you and ask question, though when I was surrounded by children I was at peace, I was calm and the air for danger that surrounded me fell away.

The morning came around far too quickly but it was not the sound of the alarm putting me from sleep it was the sound of shouting of terror a fear so strong that the house vibrated with the noise as though it was feeling the terror that was sprawling from inside the room down the hall.

My instinct kicked in reaching first for my gun and carefully making my way down the hallway, the door to the room was open wide as I entered with an air of caution. JJ was curled in her bed screaming as someone moved towards her.

I tried to keep my temper in check but right now I was more than pissed, if it wasn't the fact that I knew that form. I would have quite happily placed a bullet between their eyes but the venom that came out of my mouth was enough, my temper showing, the vile that turned your blood cold.

"Just what the hell do you think you are doing," keeping her gun trained on him "You want to put that thing down?" He asked as his eyes went wide, the fact that his friend was pointing a gun straight at his head sent the shivers through his core. "You see I'd rather not until you move away from her and get the fuck out of her room," my voice firm loud and even he could feel the edible fear that I could offer just by my voice.

Holding his hands up in a form of peace he slowly made his way towards the door, though he hated the fact that the gun was still trained on him, he swallowed slightly as their eyes lock he could not speak not when my temper and anger was so exposed. "Wait downstairs for me" all he could do was nod; even he knew not to betray my command.

My eyes fell straight on to JJ curled in the bed shaking through fear as I slowly made my way towards her, JJ flinched at the noise the sense that someone was close, close enough to touch her, close enough to feel her shuddered breath "Shh, your safe my sweet girl, your safe" I said softly as my hand reached towards her shoulder. JJ could not help but flinch away the fear washing over her, the panic still coursing through her skin shaking her to her very core.

I sat on the bed allowing JJ to control her thoughts as she closed her eyes the soothing noise soft in her throat, her hand never breaking the contact against her skin, slowly JJ moved her body automatically curling into her, I pulled her close against me, her bare skin on fire with panic, I pulled the small form into my lap rubbing her back gently before placing a soft kiss on the top of her head. "I've got you," I whispered as the whimpers slowly subsided.

I could feel her pain as raw as the heat of fire burning your skin. Running my fingers through the golden locks as she spoke, "Jennifer, get some clothes on darling I just need to go and talk to him" JJ nodded against me as my hold slackened off, "Come down when you're ready please" I said more calmly rising from the bed and making my way out of the bedroom to go and deal with him.

I tried to calm down slightly as I made her way into the kitchen "Now give me two good reasons why you are here and why I shouldn't have you fired" My eyes bored on the look of evil. "Garcia was worried about you hell we all are Emily, you bring someone home that you know nothing about. Someone who could more than likely kill you. We haven't heard off you since yesterday and you do whatever you want, I am only here because I care and you use to care about us once" he looked sadly at her.

Morgan had been my partner for years he was the one I turned to the one person I could talk to other than Jordan. But that trust was broken, it was not his fault in all honesty but the stray bullet that took my wife away came from his gun and even two years later I could not get passed it, I could not fully trust him. My heart was broken and it still had not mended enough to allow him close, or back in.

"I asked Reid to tell you all I am fine we are both fine. You have just scared the living shit out of her, she is scared and you just had to add to that not only walking into my house. But into her room and stand there moving towards her, if you hadn't have noticed Morgan she was naked so you tell me which part I should be okay with" my voice cut through the air like a steel blade cutting through metal.

Morgan looked down in shame he hadn't really been paying attention he just wanted to talk to her, he needed to know I was safe and right now he didn't have an answer for me, "I suggest when she comes downstairs you apologise to her then leave" I said firmly. The soft shuffling pulled my trail of thought and even Morgan noticed how my voice change the second I saw or heard JJ coming shyly down the stairs.

I gave a soft smile before my eyes set back on Morgan as I wrapped my arms around JJ's form "JJ I am sorry I didn't mean to frighten you" Morgan said. JJ looked at him for a moment she could hear his thoughts loud and clear and she understood. He was not a violent man, he was kind and caring, but when he thought someone he cared deeply about was going to be hurt he would charge at it putting himself in the firing line, risking his own life for that of a friend. However, he was also masked with great sadness and loss, and JJ could not work out where the loss started, and the sadness began.

JJ nodded as I held her tighter pulling her closer to my body, my face softened as I looked at him "Let her settle in and get comfortable and then we will see about you all coming over for something to eat okay." For the first time in months I smiled at him, it was not forced or masked by anything it was just a soft smile "We'd like that Emily" "Right you can go and tell Garcia I am safe but Morgan" I paused slightly "Don't ever do that again" he nodded "I won't"

Once Morgan had left leaving me and JJ alone, I started to make breakfast and again JJ watched on in amazement, she was amazed to be allowed in someone's kitchen while they cooked food, "Are you okay Jennifer?" I asked pulling her from my thoughts, "Sorry I woke you" I couldn't help but roll her eyes to turn and face her as I spoke "You have nothing to be sorry for and really it wasn't your fault, Would you like to butter the toast?".

I wanted to see how much JJ knew how much had been taken away from her when she should have been growing up, I doubted it was not knowing more of a fear that had been embedded into her mind, as though her actions had been control and contained in a small cage and I wouldn't voice what I was thinking or feeling inside, because even I knew one false move and this sweet girl in front of me could turn into something more dangerous than me.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

I had managed to calm down as we sat in silence, JJ watched me carefully she had felt the anger she had tasted it and that had scared her, but my ability to switch emotions so quickly had amazed her. The shame washed over her still she was so scared, out of her safety net and placing her trust in someone whom she is unable to read and part of her wonder what it was I was so scared for her to find.

For years, JJ had only had, her keepers to communicate with, and the thought flickered through her mind causing me to look at her with a soft and kind smile. **"I am not your keeper Jennifer and I never will be. If you want to leave I won't stop you."** JJ's eyes went wide again, this was not the first time I had done this but each time it shocked her and amazed her. She was not sure if she could feel my thoughts or hear them.

I gave a slight smirk as I began to speak "So Jennifer what would you like to do today?" watching JJ carefully for the reaction as JJ swallowed slightly and the uncertainties swirl behind her eyes, her voice was more than a whisper though it was laced in slight fear. "Teach me" JJ closed her eyes slightly before she spoke again "To stop the voices"

I could not help but give a warm smile as I nodded, I reached for my phone "Is it okay to get my friend Reid to come and help us?" JJ frowned slightly not understanding why I was not able to do it myself. However, she knew that in order for me to do this she would have to allow her walls down and JJ doubted she would as she nodded her response. **"I am keeping you out to protect you Jennifer not because I don't trust you" **there it was again my thoughts projected into JJ's mind it puzzled her slightly she watched as I waited for the phone to be answered.

Though the asylum was, quite it never fully kept the noise or the voices out JJ could still feel them still hear them, but here in my home, she could not hear anything as she walked towards the window. Not even the sound of the cars could be heard inside. The children playing, it was as though I had locked the world out, as though I could not or did not want the outside world to enter my home. Was there a reason for this, was it for protection? In addition, if it was who was I protecting, myself or others? The only way JJ could think to fully describe it was peaceful.

I had gotten dressed by the time Reid had arrived he smiled softly at me as I opened the door, "How is everything?" he asked as he walked past me and into the hallway. "You mean aside from Morgan turning up this morning and scaring JJ half to death everything is find" Reid winced at the words I spoke as I mumbled "Remind me to get my key back"

Reid chuckled slightly "We all have a key for a reason Emily" I rolled my eyes slightly "You would think after two years you'd all trust me on my own for long periods of time" I half mocked earning myself a teasing grin off Reid "I trust you" I chuckled as we made our way into the sitting room "Your different Reid" I said with a slight wink.

"Morning JJ" Reid said shyly as he walked in and towards the sofa at the other side of the room, which was where he had sat last night, JJ gave a weary smile before she spoke "Hi" Reid chuckled slightly as I sat beside JJ.

Reid's mind was always busy, but never harmful, I knew I could help Reid not suffer from a headache but also knew it was going to take a lot out of them both, mental exhaustion was the worst to overcome and both I and Reid knew this, you could work your body to the ground and recover far more quickly than if you ran your mind to the ground, so to speak.

We had spent a few hours teaching JJ techniques of how to block thoughts and also how to control what she feels off people's emotions, there was so much that we did not know about her, about what she was capable of and that in a way broke my heart. In truth, JJ had crawled under my skin and was slowly making her way into my heart.

After we had enjoyed some lunch together Reid said his good byes and he felt over joyed that JJ would not shy away from him like she had done, as I saw him to the door I stepped outside closing it behind me so I could speak to Reid in private.

"I wish there was something more I could do for her," Reid gave a soft smile "You're doing the best you can Emily and we will help"

I sighed, "Her body wasn't designed for this Reid" my eyes pleaded with him as he nodded in understanding, "Is she in pain?"

I shook my head "Confused, scared and a hell of a lot of fear other than that I am not sure honestly."

Reid watched me for a moment "Let me work on something Emily and I will call again tomorrow and see how she is doing" I nodded "And try not to be too harsh when she tries to go looking" I chuckled slightly "I will try and thank you Reid" he smiled and gave a single nod before walking down the stairs.

I turned walking back inside closing the door behind me, I couldn't help but smile once I had walked into the front room, JJ laid across the sofa peacefully asleep and it warmed my heart though I also feared what was beginning to emanate inside me, the feelings and the fact that she had managed to get under my skin worried me slightly, for now all I could do was try and control the fire that raged inside me and keep myself calm.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

I left JJ sleeping on the couch as I make my way up the stairs. My body needs to relax and my mind needs to clear, it has been so long since I have had to keep my emotions and anger under such tight control, my body is so tense with everything that is raging through it. She is such a kind person I have left Reid to see if he can find something that could help him. More than I can, something that could in fact take this, I want to use the term gift but that would be wrong.

How can having something forced on you be a gift? It is more like a curse something being forced against your will, taking and masking the person which you are. I guess that can be corrected in time but for now I have to try to keep myself so tightly closed off but I cannot help some parts slipping through. I can feel her, I can sense her pain and I can hear her thoughts and deep down I know if I can feel and hear all this she knows my secret she knows what I have been able to keep hidden for the past 37 years.

I am though starting to wonder what would happen if I allowed JJ in, if I allowed her to see me but I fear she may turn on me even though I didn't do this to her, I helped in making the others even though I spent a lot of time protesting against it, to them it is a curse to me it is a gift and a gift I really didn't want to share but back then I had no choice much like she didn't have any choice.

I would though like to find out more about the people who took her. I am starting to think they were like me, born with lack of understanding being shunned if people found out, my gift led me to the CIA and Interpol to be used as a spy and as a aid to help the war against terrorism, they knew something was different with me I was a machine a robot, they called me a killing machine once and it was true. I think if it was not for the fact that I worked for the government I would be locked in a cell or at a research facility.

I can even admit that back then I was heartless, that I would rather kill someone than ask them questions, but it was the CIA that helped to make me that way, they helped make me numb to the pain to opening my heart to love or be loved. That was some twelve years ago, I never thought I would have to go through it again, I never thought I would have to close myself off from the people I care about and love, the cast iron grip which I have had to place over my heart and mind. Reid worries I may not come back this time. I will and only because I made a promise to someone years ago, a promise to always come home to always come back and never forget. In addition, I have kept to that promise.

The warmth of the water attacks my body relaxing my muscles that I have kept so tense the past few weeks, I even allow my walls to cave slightly in order to allow my mind to relax and the pain of the headache which has been emanating inside my mind for the past few days to make its way out of my body though I have had to help it on its way out of my body.

It wasn't a sound that pulled me to sit up in fear and in worry but the gasp which came from the other side of the door, I had allowed my guard down because I thought JJ was sleeping, I never heard or felt her wake let alone make her way up the stairs to be stood outside the bathroom door. I didn't even think as I jumped out of the bath gripping the small towel as I opened the door to find her standing there her mouth slightly opened and the fear in her eyes, my heart broke yet again, though I do not know how much she has managed to see, feel or hear. She is stood there in what I can only see as shock.

I keep my voice and myself calm, and even now, I wish my past would not have a hand in ruling my present. "Jennifer" I speak softly as I stand in front of her, can she not see I am not the same person I was all those years ago? I wait for her to answer but I get nothing, I watch as her hand raises towards my face, my body tenses but then I am slightly shocked I thought she was going to slap me or hit me. Instead, her hand is now resting on my cheek only for a moment before she bolts towards the room she has been staying in. the door shut with a loud bang. I can hear her crying and I can even feel the confusion that has now been placed inside her. Though I do not feel any fear, which I am taking as a good sign well for now I am.

I knock softly on the door but I know right now there is no chance of me being allowed inside, JJ doesn't want to talk she is too scared to speak to me, but still I do not know what she saw or felt, and all I can do at this moment in time is curse myself for allowing my guard to falter allowing the walls to fall slightly just so I could ease my own mind. However, now all I can do is wait.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"Damn it" I curse as I jump out of the bath throwing the towel around me. I mentally berate myself for allowing my mind to wander. Though now I worry about what she has seen and felt and fear laces me as I walk towards the closed door. Will she allow me in or will she fear me or maybe she can see past everything. Well here goes nothing I knock softly on the door.

The last thing I want to do is scare her more than she already is. "Jennifer can I come in please" I did not expect to get a response if I was honest, my past is not something I am proud of, some parts are worse and some are not as bad. Time seemed to stand still as I waited for a reply, any confirmation that she had heard me or would be willing to allow me inside her room. Though it is my home, I will not force my way into someone else's space.

Long before me and Jordon had started dating and living together my home was used as a sort of sanctuary for me and for a few that needed a place to escape from their everyday life, away from prying eyes and ears somewhere they were safe from harm and judgment.

I can feel how confused she is, though I am still unsure what she has seen and if I am very honest, I do not want to go searching without permission that will only cause her more pain and confusion. I knock softly again hoping this time that I may get a reply. "Jennifer, can we talk please" I sigh softly as I contemplate the fact I am not going to get anywhere yet. Her mind is screaming for space and I have to allow it, it is my fault she is in so much pain, I have done the one thing I was trying to protect her from. I was meant to protect her from being hurt and yet I am the one whom has hurt her, even though I never meant to it was unintentional but there it was.

It was a type of stalemate I guess and all I can do right now is stand outside the bedroom door and wait, though I can feel and I also know she wants me to leave her alone I can't I need her to talk to me I need her to open this door, though the sick feeling I have inside me is starting to wash over me and I am unsure but I know she does not want to talk to me right now.

The door rips open in front of me and all I can do is swallow hard as I feel her trying to push me away physically though I am grounded to the spot, for now it is a battle of wills as she tries to use her strength to push be away from the opening and away from her, I can feel the anger that is washing off her like a wave as it hits the shore. I have the internal debate if I should push back at her but right now, all I can do is stand here and fight against her and prove that I am not going anywhere even if she tries to push me away. I need her to see I am not the same person I was back then; I need her to understand that I am not that person.

Though no words are spoken as the battle of wills continues between us both, she can be angry at me I just wish she would speak, scream or even shout, I watch her for a moment as she continues to try and push me from where I stand, she has more strength inside her than I thought she did, but still I stand my ground. "Talk to me" I keep my voice as gentle as I can as I look at her. Even her face screams pain and heartache and still I am unsure what it is she has seen and what she knows.

"You made them, you did this to me" I freeze as I swallow thickly and I know at this point she needs to know the truth, "I didn't do this to you Jennifer" I try and so how sincere I am in my voice I am just hoping she can hear it, though through the anger she has towards me right now I doubt it. I cannot deny the first part of her statement because I did make them, her anger is aimed at me and I can feel the full force of it as I stand my ground. "I did not do this to you Jennifer" I repeat myself again as her eyes burn against me, I don't know at what point I made the choice but I knew the second I felt my throat become tight I had to push back I had to do something.

"You did this to me" she shouted at me this time, I knew I would regret my actions but she needed to understand that I am stronger than her and she cannot hurt me even if she tries to as I push back though I do hold back slightly as her body begins to move up the bed, she looks at me in slight fear and I can see the panic in her eyes, the tears fill in her eyes again as I stop pushing but I hold her there instead "Jennifer I did not do this to you, I promise" I need to make her see I didn't do this to her.

I move further into the room keeping her pinned against the bed "Stop fighting me and I will let you go" I keep my voice soft but firm as I walk closer to the bed, I hate the fact that I have had to do this but if I hadn't, I am pretty sure she would have thrown me down the stairs. "GET AWAY FROM ME" she screams at me this time but for now, I cannot let go. Right now she sees me as a threat and I guess to an on looker I am, there has only been two times in my life when I have needed to do this and this would be one of the two.

Just how do I get her to see I am not the enemy that she now thinks I am, is it time I let her see what I have been so desperate to keep locked away and the part which knew if she found out, she would be hurt. For now I keep her still because I know she will fight me if I give her the chance right now and that is really the last thing I want. I just hope she will listen and I will not have to let her go, because the last thing I want is for her to end up back in that asylum or worse. Now I wait and pry she will calm down.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

The whimpers come from her as I continue to keep her still, I edge myself further into her room, her eyes track me "YOU LIED TO ME" her voice holds so much anger as she speaks, "Jennifer" I say softly. "DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT," I look at her now as I keep my distance but still keep her held against the bed. "JJ" she glares at me "You lied, you are the reason for all this, GET OUT" I feel her trying to push me away again, but I stand my ground. "GET OUT OF MY ROOM" she now screams at me as I stand in the doorway. "I haven't lied to you" I try to keep myself as calm as I can but I can feel her anger like a steel blade against my flesh.

"You lied, you are not who you say you are" I swallow slightly "I am who I say I am" I reply as calmly as I can. "You're a monster" it is as though she has just, landed me a physical blow to my body and I cringe inside. "I am not a monster" I am sure she can hear the hurt in my voice as I speak though she ignores it. "You are a monster, you're not human, and you are a thing, a freak" it takes everything not to walk away but to stand my ground. "You're a murderer" it is in this moment she says that I can't help the tears that well in my eyes as my hold on her slackens as I start to turn away out of the room. Her anger is at me, her hate is with me and my heart hurts.

The door slams as I move out of the way, I know she is still on the bed, I close my eyes as I try and gain control over my emotions again to lock them all back up in a box. I make my way downstairs as I hear the banging coming from the room and I know that she is letting her anger out and the room is suffering the brunt of it. I try and clear my mind, it would be in times like this I would call Morgan but mine and his relationship is strained at best and if he knew about this he would not see it as I've hurt her he will take it as the other way around. I know partly what she has seen and that is because there has only been one time I have ever classed myself as a murderer and that was when I was 15 and I had an abortion.

I reach for the glass and make my way over to the liquor cabernet, I pause I know if I reach for the bottle my anger will not be contained inside me, I take a breath as I swallow, I make my way back to the kitchen the glass smashes into the sink closing my eyes slightly I need to regain my composer as I reach for my phone, hitting speed dial I know it will be answered within a few rings.

"Emily what's wrong?" the concern is evident as they answer, "Can you come please?" I hear the phone drop he knows that tone in my voice and I know he can hear the worry. He may not be good at reading social cues but we know each other and better than everyone thinks. He knows me, and everything about me. He knew about Doyle before the rest of them did, I hurt him though when he thought I was dead for six months but we have a stronger friendship now.

* * *

I can't even smile as he lets himself in, he nods at me before making his way fully into the kitchen "Emily what happened?" he asks and all I can do is look away "What did she see?" it is in that moment I can't help the snigger that escapes my lips I just look at him as I raise my eyebrow "I don't know what she has seen only that she is now blaming me" I watch as his shoulders slump slightly as he nods, "Would you like me to try" part of me worries he won't be able to protect himself but I also know she won't hurt him and maybe she needs someone else to talk to before she confronts me. "You could try" I finally reply after a few seconds. He gives me a soft smile before he makes his way upstairs.

I make my way to my sofa I curl my legs under me as I wrap my hands around my coffee cup. I hear Jennifer allow Reid into her room, I am unsure if I should close my mind fully off, I felt the need to protect her from the second I walked into her room but now I wonder who I am protecting her from, or if I am in fact protecting myself.

I keep my mind fully closed as I know Jennifer will be able to feel and sense my thoughts as I listen in slightly, I am now guessing Jennifer knows I can hear her thoughts just like she is able to hear mine. This is the problem her abilities mirror mine, though mine grew over time and I am able to control someone with just my mind.

I know it is rude to listen in to a private conversation but I need to know how much she has seen and how much she knows, for the first time in five years I am scared, I am scared of losing someone again. It is in that second that mere thought that I realise that my feelings are deeper than just a want and need to protect the woman who is crying upstairs. I move out of the front room and make my way into the kitchen I need her to trust me and listening into a private conversation is going to do nothing in helping me get the trust back.

The time drags it has been hours since Reid went upstairs and it has been awhile since I could feel Jennifer's pain, I hear the latch on the door as it is opened and Reid appears on the steps he gives me a warm smile as he makes his way back into the kitchen. I swallow slightly as I wait for him to speak, I am that focused on Reid I did not hear Jennifer come down the stairs after him, I only knew she was there behind me when her hand rested against my arm.

I swallow slightly before I turn around her eyes are no longer sparkling they are red from tears that have been falling and I can sense the confusion inside her but the anger seems to have gone, though the pain it still raw.

We all sat in silence as we drank our coffees before Reid gave his excuse to leave though I knew why as he motioned me to follow him outside of the front door. "You need to talk to her Emily and be honest she feels you lied to her and she is hurt, she is stronger than you think so I wouldn't hide from her" he gives me a smile and all I can do is nod before he says goodbye and wishes me good luck.


End file.
